I’m sorry I didn’t understand what you were trying to tell me earlier by yelling “UP!” and throwing your baby doll at me. I should have known immediately that what you meant to say was, “Please, Mother, would you mind getting up and putting my baby doll on the back of my rocking horse? And while you are at it, can you press the on switch on his ear so he can neigh and shake his tail, like a real pony?” And you do realize this would be much easier if you just START TALKING IN COMPLETE SENTENCES!?

No pressure or anything. And while we are at it, can you please stop waking up at 4am?

Love,

Your dear Mommy who is about 2 more sleepless nights away from needing to be committed.

You know that line from Prissy in Gone with the Wind, “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ babies!” Well, Prissy, I completely understand. I didn’t know nothing about birthing babies, or changing babies, or entertaining babies. All of my child bearing/rearing knowledge has come from on the job training.

And lately I’ve found myself scratching my head, trying to figure out what to do with Daphne. I had visions of being able to sit and read to her every day. We’d do art projects, have tea parties, play with her toys. You know, things I did with my mom as a little one. And Daphne lets me play/read to her for about 20 seconds, then she’s off to the next adventure. I know as she gets older, it will be easier to do those things with her. But for now, it’s hard to come up with activities to help her burn off energy. And I spend my day feeling like I’m just running around after her, making sure she doesn’t get into stuff. I find it hard to direct her. I guess that’s normal for a 21 month old.

Luckily, she decided a few weeks ago that she likes going to the playground (awesome!!) and, of course, she loves swimming. So, there’s two things we can do daily. She also loves to help me cook. LOVES it. Loves playing with sidewalk chalk.

Hopefully I can come up with a few more things she likes to do, otherwise it makes for a long day!

Chris & I spent some time tonight post-processing one of his photos of Daphne. He uses Lightroom primarily to process his photos, and I use Photoshop CS4. Chris asked me to show him how to use some of the Photoshop actions and textures we have, and how to fake selective focus. I think we threw everything but the kitchen sink at this one. Here’s the before:

Just a really basic picture of Daphne in front of my car door. And here’s the after:

It’s amazing what you can do in Photoshop, isn’t it? I Gaussian blurred the heck out of her reflection in the door, then added a Nichole Van texture to the entire image. I guess I could go back and take the pink cast out of the reflection, but I think it adds to the Holga color/cross processed vibe.

I think we might have to do a Daddy/Daughter photo shoot tomorrow.

Over the last few months, Daphne has fallen in love with Elmo. It’s funny how kids respond to that character. After only watching Sesame Street a few times, Daphne already knew who he was and yelled out “Elmo!” when she saw his face on a t-shirt at Target. I’ve tried to get her interested in Yo Gabba Gabba or some of the other “cool” shows for toddlers. Nope. She likes Jack/Mary/Mel from Jack’s Big Music Show, Elmo, Dora and Barney. I know, Barney? I accidentally let her watch an episode and she was mesmerized. She hasn’t seen an episode since. I can’t handle Barney.

Last week, Chris brought home an Elmo doll that talks and blows kisses. Oh my goodness. You know the footage of young girls screaming after the Beatles? That’s pretty much what Daphne looked like when Chris showed her the Elmo doll. She didn’t scream, but she was beside herself. You could just see she was thinking, “Elmo is in my LIVING ROOM!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!” She loves that doll. And I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love that she loves it, but I hate that it’s the first thing I hear in the mornings through the baby monitor. “Elmo loves you, You’re Elmo’s sweetheart!” Then my husband nudges me and says, “Elmo’s up” and I go get Daphne & Elmo out of the crib.

I’ve always had a soft spot for the Jim Henson company. I loved the Frog Prince (had the album), The Muppet Show (when I was allowed to stay up late to see it), Emmet Otter, even Fraggle Rock. But, I can’t say I’m a huge Elmo fan. He’s cute, I don’t dislike him, but it gets a little old. Like, the Elmo Asks A Baby part of Elmo’s World. How many times do we have to ask questions to babies who don’t talk? Just saying. I miss the old Sesame Street. You know, with Grover and Bert and Ernie. And little kids like John-John, remember him?

Sometimes I let Daphne climb up on my lap and we watch Elmo videos on sesamestreet.org and YouTube. Of course, you have to be careful with YouTube. I just about fell out of the chair laughing over this Elmo spoof (Warning- puppets with foul mouths. Don’t watch this in front of your kids.):

“What makes you think Elmo won’t cut you!” Bwahahahahaha! And if you like slightly offensive puppets, make sure and check out the Puppet Up! clips on YouTube. You might recognize some of the puppets from other Henson productions. My favorites are Repeats (the second skit in this next clip):

And Eye Witnesses:

Enjoy!

I noticed the trailer for the next Twilight movie, New Moon, was available online. Here’s the clip, in case you haven’t seen it:

You might remember that Chris & I laughed our way through the first Twilight movie, even thought it’s not supposed to be a comedy. Hehehe. The books weren’t great, but they were a hell of a lot better than the movie. Anyway, I might actually want to see New Moon, for no other reason than I am on Team Jacob. Seriously, why would anyone choose Edward over Jacob. He’s sweet, better looking, etc. Oh well. The funny thing about the clip is I was discussing with some moms on one of my moms boards about how we felt like dirty old women. We were all drooling over Taylor Lautner (Jacob). And I think I was in college when he was born. I could be his mom, LOL! I also have a completely inappropriate crush on Silas from Weeds.

Oh, and have you heard they might be remaking Dune with Robert Pattison? One article I read mentioned him being cast as Paul, and another as Feyd, so we will see. I would be excited to see a new Dune movie.

And since there is nothing else on TV these days, I’ll be watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 tonight. I actually watched the first season until Kate got to be so unbearable. I just hated her attitude of “Yeah, we fight and I yell at Jon all the time and belittle/emasculate him any chance I get, but that’s just how we are and we still love each other.” You know, I don’t think it’s OK. I think if you treat your partner like that then you really can’t be surprised if they look around for something else. Not saying that I feel Jon’s alleged affair is OK. I’ll probably spend tonight watching the episode, thinking “These people are stupid. I hope they get it together for the sake of their cute kids. And please, please, please someone cut Kate’s hair!!!”

I feel like I need to watch some Masterpiece Theatre now to balance out all the crap I’ve watched lately.